Roses may say “I love you,” but the cactus says “Fuck off.

“One of my seminars is “Leadership in the 20th century: How being a century behi…”

“When I turn thirty, in thirty days or so, I might be feeling old, so I’ll proba…”

“The three of us met to discuss dinner over sandwiches, and I decided I liked th…”

“I’d rather jump in a tank with a tiger shark than make love to his right hand. …”