She didn’t just disappear from my life—she had the audacity to die on me. And until I get Alzheimer’s, I will never forget it.

“Be honest, asshole. Are you a dick magnet?”

“I’d like to write a screenplay about my grandpa, and I’d like my future grandso…”

“A brick is slow, when it’s lying on the floor. But fast when just thrown.
”

“The fastest I’ve ever fallen in love is 17 miles per hour. But I was safe, beca…”