She doesn’t return my phone calls. I’d like them back, unopened.

“Drinks heavily loaded with ice are reasonably effective, but the best way to co…”

“If my name were Theodore Tiffany, my goal in life would be to meet and marry a …”

“I often wonder about lifetime warranties. The lifetime of whom or what? A fly t…”

“I know the secret number of the universe. It’s one, for the individual in searc…”