She walked by and I said, Nice shirt. What I really meant was, Nice tits.

“A blanket, no matter how thin, could be sliced thinner, and in this way one bla…”

“My cat stood still like a furry statue. I wanted to go pet it, but I ended up p…”

“I told the tree it was going nowhere in life. It was hurtful, but true. Now, ma…”

“I’m trying to translate what my cat says and put it in a book, but how many hom…”