She yawned so loudly that I wanted to use her mouth as a putt putt golf hole.

“I've never had a one-night stand with anybody over the course of a whole weeken…”

“It's really hard to drive, talk on the phone, and jack off at the same time. An…”

“A brick could be used as a book cover. Talk about hardcover!
”

“If a handicapped woman says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask…”