Snarling an oath from an Icelandic saga, I reclaimed my place at the head of the queue.

"Oy!" yelled a punk rocker, with studs in his cranium. "There's a fackin' queue!"

Never apologize, advises Lloyd George. Say it again, only this time, ruder. "I know there's a 'fackin' queue'! I already queued in it once and I am not going to queue in it again just because Nina Simone over there won't sell me a ruddy ticket!"

A colored yeti in a clip-on uniform swooped. "Wassa bovver?"

"This old man here reckons his colostomy bag entitles him to jump the queue," said the skinhead, "and make racist slurs about the lady of Afro-Caribbean extraction in the advance-travel window."

I couldn't believe I was hearing this.

Author: David Mitchell

Snarling an oath from an Icelandic saga, I reclaimed my place at the head of the queue. <br /><br />"Oy!" yelled a punk rocker, with studs in his cranium. "There's a fackin' queue!"<br /><br />Never apologize, advises Lloyd George. Say it again, only this time, ruder. "I know there's a 'fackin' queue'! I already queued in it once and I am <i>not</i> going to queue in it again just because Nina Simone over there won't sell me a ruddy ticket!"<br /><br />A colored yeti in a clip-on uniform swooped. "Wassa bovver?"<br /><br />"This old man here reckons his colostomy bag entitles him to jump the queue," said the skinhead, "<i>and</i> make racist slurs about the lady of Afro-Caribbean extraction in the advance-travel window."<br /><br />I couldn't believe I was hearing this. - David Mitchell


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