So you made a mistake. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Let me beat you up instead.

“Most people buy the highest quality television sets, only to watch the lowest q…”

“Why do old people drive slow? They have the least amount of time left on earth,…”

“Your mother, my mother, and mother of pearl walk into a bar, and the bartender …”

“I am submitting two pieces to be excluded in your show. Thank you for your inco…”