Sometimes I feel I’m just doing a poor impression of a person. Maybe I feel this way because I have no money.

“It's really hard to drive, talk on the phone, and jack off at the same time. An…”

“People who have knickknacks are people people. Some are even named Nick.”

“Messages written across the chest of women’s t-shirts are great, because I can …”

“The girl I am in love with told me she’s moving on. Should I cry, or go to Jax …”