Sometimes I get depressed about my age. In March I’ll be 26. If man weren’t measured in numbers, but rather letters, I’d be turning Z. And then I’d be dead.

“I don't know where to look for jobs, so I think I'll check out the unemployment…”

“How many midgets does it take to take over the world? I’m not sure, but I’d gue…”

“Do you need some birthday dick? I once got dick for my birthday—my first birthd…”

“It is possible to be in two dreams at once. If I dream about you, and you are a…”