Sometimes my thoughts are too slimy for my brain, and they come shooting out of my penis. They are life-changing thoughts, so I’d recommend taking them deep inside of you.


“I put the yes in eyes. Except when I blink, because that’s definitely a no acti…”

“If I had to live my life over, I’d live it over seas, like a cloud.”

“It’s possible that I couldn’t handle the truth, but I sure wouldn’t mind fondli…”

“When somebody tells me they’ve had a bad day, I always respond in a somber voic…”