Sunday nights I get about two inches of sleep. But I make do, because that’s all the erection I can muster.

“I have nowhere to go and no way to get there. But at least I’m not hitchhiking,…”

“If love came out of exhaust pipes, like a penis that penetrated deep into one, …”

“I tell people my name is “The Weather,” and that I understand how they don’t ha…”

“My blender has a more powerful engine than my car, but my car doesn’t make smoo…”