Take my advice and don’t take my advice.

“I don’t need a dress, I need an address. And some panties.”

“The future is right around the corner from a bar called, “Yesterdays.” I know, …”

“I paid her a little visit, and I used a coupon with the purchase.”

“I didn’t shave my mustache off. Instead what I did was taped Elton John’s assho…”