The atmosphere is always very grave when I walk into a cemetery.

“My asshole smells like burnt firewood, and I’ve got firemen calling me. But I w…”

“Rather than dirt, I’d rather push a wheelbarrow full of books. Dirty books.”

“I once saw a politician walking a dog, and I thought, “How absurd—an animal wal…”

“You know cats, always scratching on this or that, but never scratching what you…”