The best date I’ve ever been on was March 5th, 1982, the year I was born. For as long as I live, I’ll never forget that date.


“My TV’s remote control didn’t have a source of energy, so I poured coffee in it…”

“I went to a homosexual high school. I graduated top in my class. I couldn't ima…”

“It’s a cliff, and I’ll jump, Don’t call it a bluff, or call my bluff. And don’t…”

“I want to move to Hollywood and audition for parts just so I can say, “I’m not …”