The best thing my grandpa ever said to me was, “Gladys, bring me some more damn soup.” Well, maybe he wasn’t talking to me, but it was still good to hear he was a romantic.

“When I’m not eating, sleeping, working, or doing a hundred other things, I’m ma…”

“Everybody loves you, but not as much as me. I love you more than any single per…”

“Women get lonely, while men merely get horny. I should know, because I’d feel l…”

“A blanket could be used in a secretive manner. What? I can’t just tell you how …”