The best way to dig yourself out of a hole, is with a dead guy’s fingernails. Then, once you’re out of the hole, finish burying that dead guy before the cops arrive.

“Her mouth contorted, and the wrinkles around her lips were like the dunes of a …”

“Do you know how much laughter is in a single bag of chips? Enough to feed a ser…”

“The scent of your asshole smells like childhood memories. I mean it would, if I…”

“I would visit Hawaii, but I’m not that strong of a swimmer. My strength is all …”