The burden of proof weighs a lot, but it’s not as heavy as a certain 19th century German philosopher’s mustache. Trust me, I used to lift weights using that mustache like it was a dumbbell.

“If my chest grew cat hair, I wouldn’t know whether to pluck it or pet it.”

“If I win in the nick of time, I’ll spread my congrats evenly to every Nick in t…”

“I thought I ran over a politician’s dog, but when I discovered it was his wig, …”

“A ball is a great place to dance, or a great thing to dribble. A ball is also a…”