The cause isn’t worth getting up for, but it is worth sleeping for. Just trying to do my part to help humanity.

“Orafoura paid me in pajamas, and I let him because the pajamas matched his plai…”

“Sitting down never feels so great as after standing for eight hours on someone’…”

“I found Waldo. He was in a strip club. He was hard to spot, because he’d alread…”

“She had a perfect smile. She doesn’t anymore, but I do. I have that perfect smi…”