The cute girl at the bar asked for my number. I told her I’m number one. Then I gave her the area code and the following seven digits.

“I don’t run errands. Usually I jog.”

“I would eat my soup in silence, but it’s alphabet soup. They’re all capital let…”

“I would never date Austin. Not that it’s gay, but it’s simply too densely popul…”

“A brick could be used as a mule. Sure, you could argue it’d be better used as a…”