The cycle of parental disapproval begins at dawn. That’s why I have to get up five minutes before sunrise, so I can berate my grandpa like he was my own child.

“To forgive is Godly. To begrudge is manly. I don’t even have any chest hair, so…”

“Before I make you boss, I want to tattoo “Assistant” around your asshole.”

“I am the Zam Maz of love. Or at least I will be, once 572w167e74zx2.”

“Most people live life backwards. They party and kill time in their youth, when …”