The eye of a hurricane is a real Cyclops, and confusing a blink with a wink can be deadly. Sometimes I flirt at 100 miles per hour.

“Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afrai…”

“I’d rate myself five stars, and those stars would all be fish. My review was of…”

“Please don’t step on my penis. And pick it up off the floor if you see it’s fal…”

“I don’t know why she broke up with me. I was always there when she needed me. W…”