The fastest way to lose weight is to find religion and start fasting.

“My baby nephew is a real ladies man. He doesn't need to pick up women. They pic…”

“It was 7 AM, so what else could I say but, “Have a great night.” Plus, he was a…”

“The cause isn’t worth getting up for, but it is worth sleeping for. Just trying…”

“My ball sack is like a bubblegum bubble, only with slightly less bubblegum flav…”