-The good guys are coming, boss. What do you want me to do?
-Don’t just stand there, you idiot. Ram them with your erection!

“I enjoy breakfast in bed. But not while I am sleeping, because that’s when I’m …”

“If my voice sounded like a dial tone, people would probably hang up on me all t…”

“Killing a bird is a murder most fowl. Trying to play doctor with a duck makes y…”

“I’m like a praying mantis, except not so devout. And I make love like a monk in…”