The idea of a blind date scares me. But a deaf date would be great.

“Some people sleep their lives away. But I also want to sleep death away. If I s…”

“My wallet isn’t empty—it’s full of hope. Thanks, Obama!”

“In the Tunnel of Desire, past the Tube of Destiny, lies the Turtle of Doubt. We…”

“How can I clearly see what’s wrong with someone else, and then look at myself a…”