The indignity of having to wear suntan lotion pales in comparison to getting skin cancer.

“A brick could be used to better improve relations with your relatives. But if y…”

“I saw a bottle of conditioner the other day that said, "Family Size," and I tho…”

“I like cup holders—in cars, as well as in jockstraps.”

“I want to meet a woman named Sherry who only drinks brandy, and a woman named B…”