The list of women he’s slept with is longer than his penis. The list is three inches long.

“If liquid courage smelled like cologne and gushed out of my penis, I’d make a b…”

“The early morning is too strong to drink straight, so I need to mix in a little…”

“You vote Democrat even if you vote Republican, because they’re two sides of the…”

“I always keep a spare set of keys in a spare set of pants that are folded up an…”