The Rockies are the backbone of this country. And I’m no doctor, but I think we have scoliosis.

“A blanket could be used to cover up Jude McNude. But despite his last name, he …”

“There are whiskers in my soup, and my spoon smells like my cat’s ass.”

“I want a trophy wife, because the only thing I’ve ever won is a fourth-place ri…”

“I like to meet people and pretend I’ll never see them again. I tend to value th…”