The sign on the side of the highway said “Shoulder Work,” and I thought, “I could go for a massage right now.” So I pulled over.

“In a depression, I’d imagine rich people try to dress like they’re poor, and po…”

“I am prophetic. I predicted it would snow tomorrow yesterday, and sure enough t…”

“I’ve got my hair conditioned. It’s not trained, but it is soft.”

“I want my writing to be as smooth as drinking a glass of water—pool water, with…”