The silence sounded like a fire alarm in my ears.

“I wear a jockstrap with my gun holster (loaded with fruits and vegetables).”

“If I can just find my wife’s foot under the covers, I know everything will be O…”

“If my love were a bagel, I’d put cream cheese on it. But it’s not a bagel, so I…”

“I make love in my bathtub, because there’s only room for one person.”