The worst book I’ve ever read is “Ulysses,” by Joyce, because like my undergraduate college degree, that’s nine and a half years of my life I’ll never get back. If the book had been about 75 pages shorter, I might have finished it a year or two earlier.

“I’m a poor worker. The quality of work I do is excellent, but I make no money.”

“Men will tolerate what they are used to, even if it’s intolerance. That’s why I…”

“Music can elevate man to new heights. Especially elevator music.”

“She had a perfect smile. She doesn’t anymore, but I do. I have that perfect smi…”