The worst part about working in a hotel is when I’m tired, I know I can’t sample the very thing I sell: sleep. I also sell sex, but I must be discreet in the sheets.

“My favorite salad dressing is vodka. And my favorite ice cream flavor is coffee…”

“I should make a tongue condom shaped like an oven mitt, so my mouth’s spoken la…”

“People are like books. You can either read them, or you can burn them. But befo…”

“Fashion Tip Number 12: Gray is not the color to wear if you want to get noticed…”