There were 17 people at the funeral. 16 of them were there for a family reunion—mine. Discount space, you see.

“I listen better with earplugs in, so I can see what your body is really saying.”

“When I say something, I mean what I say, despite what a dictionary says I mean.…”

“I’m reminded of Orville Tethington, inventor of the world’s first steam-powered…”

“Rich mahogany wood was used to construct the bookshelves, and the floor is also…”