There’s only one way you can appreciate me in the bedroom—call my wife and get permission for me.

“I don’t beat around the bush. Especially since I like my women clean shaven.”

“We never know how bad we had it, until something better comes along and we get …”

“The first guy who beats me up isn’t going to pay for it, but the second guy who…”

“My trash can got stolen five times. Finally the owner just let me have it.
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