Things I’ve learned the hard way: #1) When you’re making a door-to-door sales pitch, make sure your shorts aren’t so short that your dick dangles out of them.

“Stoplight red is never greener than when it’s tinged with yellow. I make love l…”

“Taxes and Texas—they have the same letters, but only one can go to hell.”

“Blankets are covers, covering the sins of my fathers. 
”

“I want to bring as much love into the world as I can. Where am I bringing it fr…”