To let her imagine how great a lover I’d be, I ate soup with chopsticks. She went home with another man, but I’ll bet she fantasized about me.

“I knew a woman named Hope once, and boy did she fill me with her first name.”

“I just took a little nap. I stole it from an infant.”

“I don’t understand why you don’t trust me. It’s not like you have a reason to n…”

“A brick could be used as a book cover. Talk about hardcover!
”