To me, a good friend is one who doesn't talk, but who listens all the time. Someone who is observant. Someone who wiretaps your phone lines. I consider myself a good friend.

“This financial crisis in Europe would have left Greece in Ruins, but it’s been …”

“I got a new car. I just need to put it together. They’re easier to steal piece …”

“Seeking a woman who looks like a feminized version of L. Ron Hubbard to help me…”

“Take pride in your workweek, not your weak work.”