Today I found yet more evidence that I’m a lunatic. The proof came in a package in the mail. The sender? Myself. The evidence? Tampered with.

“It’s not that I don’t have the drive to succeed, but rather I don’t have the ga…”

“I made love to a woman on a boat once. It was still on the showroom floor, but …”

“I never got to call myself a door-to-door salesman, because, regrettably, I onl…”

“I’m not interested in driving a racecar, but I would love to cruise around in a…”