Too many men have died in the name of old age. I know, because my grandmother was one of them.

“Don’t chop off your fingers because you have an itch. That’d be dumb. Instead, …”

“Four bricks could be affixed under a skateboard and used as really inefficient …”

“100% of half the people I talked to agreed with me a quarter of the time.”

“We didn’t know each other, but that didn’t stop me from ignoring him.”