Too many people talk about the weather, and not enough people talk about agriculture. When somebody says to me, "Beautiful weather we're having,” I always reply, "Irrigation and crop rotation.

“If I didn’t have any pants on, I’d let you taste my pantslessness.”

“It seems that in love, I have no match. It also seems that with firewood, I hav…”

“When I look in the mirror, I see not only the person I am, but the person I cou…”

“I had a dream about you. You were Ginger Rogers, and you were trying to teach m…”