Uncle Sam’s not related to me. He’s stuck his dick in the American Pie too many times to be welcome at my family picnics.

“My stomach is my locker. Let me store your lunch for you. You’ll get it back, i…”

“I just stepped in shit, and now I’ve got political rhetoric all over my shoes.”

“I like the crunch sound of snow under my boots. Better than stepping on knuckle…”

“I want to be the leading man in a story about followers.”