Up until I saw the hair in my food, it was delicious. You know, cannibalism isn’t so bad.

“I like wearing earmuffs. They keep my balls warm.”

“I got fleeced once, by a sweater—a fleece, if you will. And won’t you? Please d…”

“A blanket could be used to stop terrorism. Unless that terrorist has a small kn…”

“I am the leprechaun I rainbow into being. Buy me a beer, and get to know my inn…”