Voting for the lesser of two evils is still voting for evil. Next time, go all out and write in Lucifer on the ballot.

“I want to live for a very, very long time, but it’s important that I take care …”

“If you had a clone, and you weren’t wearing perfume and your clone was, I’d aut…”

“I’d rather be the fastest runner than the best fighter. But then I am a supreme…”

“I try to put myself in another man’s shoes. Or a woman’s, if she has large enou…”