We all need something to embrace, even if it’s just our own torso.

“If my nipples lactated mustard, I’d wear a bra made out of two hamburger buns.”

“Just because I flap my arms, that doesn’t make me a bird. No, I’m a bird becaus…”

“When I’m in the ocean, I swim alone, because I’m a shark-eating man. I’m also a…”

“I have two problems with hard labor: hard and labor. I prefer soft, and I’d pre…”