We made love like a slice of French toast trying to act like an English muffin.

“I suspect I’ll be suspicious for my whole life that Saturday night is sleeping …”

“My hand acts as a blanket for my genitals.
”

“She had blonde hair like spaghetti noodles, and then she went and dyed it marin…”

“I like how volcanoes rumble before they erupt, as if to say, Get the hell off m…”