We were getting a divorce. But not from each other. Then we were going to get married. But not to each other.

“When I’m competing to be on the bottom during sex, I always come out on top.”

“Love should be unconditional, while hair should be conditioned. Air should also…”

“To make my meal in a box taste better, I decided to tweak the logo, rather than…”

“I’d rather have a high EQ than a high IQ. After all, what is more important tha…”