We weren't being mauled by lions.
We weren't being tortured with bamboo shoots shoved under our fingernails.
No Chinese water torture.
No burning at the stake.
We weren't even being interrogated under bright lights.
If only.
No, what we endured was a special kind of torture, designed especially for us by The Rat, that made me wish for a bamboo manicure. - Simon Mugford

Author: Claudia Osmond

We weren't being mauled by lions.<br />We weren't being tortured with bamboo shoots shoved under our fingernails.<br />No Chinese water torture.<br />No burning at the stake.<br />We weren't even being interrogated under bright lights.<br />If only.<br />No, what we endured was a special kind of torture, designed especially for us by The Rat, that made me wish for a bamboo manicure. - Simon Mugford - Claudia Osmond



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