Wealth—one billion, two billion, what’s the difference? The difference is one billion—the same difference as flat broke, like me, and one billion.

“A brick could be used to replace the dollar as the world’s reserve currency. Do…”

“Every time I see my cat licking its asshole I think about my ex wife. But that’…”

“I wrote something for my local newspaper, but nobody read it because it got bur…”

“What is the price of love? Half price—if you date a midget.”