What if a statue of me walked past my clone frozen in thought? Which one of the two would make a better quarterback than Geno Smith?

“Books are portable companions. But so are midgets.”

“Today is Wednesday. That makes it my Wednesday. It also makes Tuesday my Monday.”

“I like how cats’ ears can flip inside out. It’s as if they’re saying, Keep talk…”

“I don’t believe in the zodiac. Whenever anybody asks me what my sign is, I alwa…”