What is it about money that makes people kill for it? I’ll have to think about that next time I do it.

“She yawned so loudly that I wanted to use her mouth as a putt putt golf hole.”

“Friends are like orgasms: you can never have too many, but just try to watch ou…”

“If you say renewable, I’ll think energy. If you say fore, I’ll think play. If y…”

“The only thing that can tame and temper love is love. Also syphilis.
”