What’s the halfway point on a burrito called? Sadness.

“Losing a child must be the second most painful thing ever. The most painful thi…”

“Killing a bird is a murder most fowl. Trying to play doctor with a duck makes y…”

“If a hooker asked me my name, I’d say John.”

“In my dream, the passenger seat of my car was a toilet. I guess I was on my way…”